my coworkers have began inviting me to their after-work dinners. a lot of wing stop and big foot java. it's nice to be included, even if i don't talk much. i also redownloaded doordash even though i know ill regret it.
renewed the tabs of my car so now i can actually bring it into the shop i was supposed to bring it to weeks ago. had a great time at a death metal show. finally got to stop pretending that i was actually friends with someone after they threw a temper tantrum about nothing and blocked me on instagram. i have a million different projects that im bouncing my time between. most of them are clothing-related. one of them is this website. im running out of jeans that actually fit me the way i like them (they're always too skinny; curse god for my breedable femboy hips!). the last time i went in to the thrift store the woman who runs the fitting rooms made me feel like an asshole for not buying anything i tried on so now im scared to go back which is double awful because i have a million things to donate. listening to London Calling by The Clash a lot. i havent played guitar in a while because i compare myself to other guitarists too much. i want to start going to the gym again but there's only one gym in my area i could feasibly go to and i never paid my last membership off because i'd lost my at-the-time job and i don't want to deal with the embarassment of telling someone this story. ive been having some gender crises, and my trans tape is starting to itch.
been listening to a lot of zebrahead and sundogs recently. just been working at my host job to get an apartment. trying to find a second job since i make minimum wage and i can't get any hours at the restaurant. finally fixing up my car after ages of letting it sit vacant. haven't slept in a proper bed since last year, just been duking it out on an air matress that deflates every night. mostly im just keeping myself busy with my projects, and surviving in this capitalistic nightmare world